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Entertain ME - I'm in standardized test hell.


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87 replies to this topic

#1 MichiganGoat

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 07:56 AM

So I pulled the shit straw for assignments this week during the glorious educational monolith - standardized test hallway observation. So while Michigan 11th graders take the ACT I get to sit in a hall for 5 hours waiting for a teacher to need a bathroom break or if I'm lucky a steel cage brawl in a classroom. So tell me a joke or something because this is the worse thing a teacher does - sit and do nothing! Yeah No Child Left Behind - you are my nemesis.

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#2 Brett

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:31 AM

Ok, I can help, but only if you DON'T LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET. Have you heard of the Albatross sandwich story/game?

#3 MichiganGoat

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:58 AM

Nope

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#4 Luke

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 09:04 AM

I hated standardized testing days when I taught.

I had the room with students who needed the literary passages to be read aloud to them. Naturally, the day testing began I came down with the worst case of laryngitis I've ever had, but no worries, I had an assistant who could take over the reading, right?

Wrong. My assistant left, without telling anyone, to go home and wait on a furniture delivery.

That was not a fun week.

#5 Spencer

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 09:44 AM

Ok, I can help, but only if you DON'T LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET. Have you heard of the Albatross sandwich story/game?


I would like to know more.

#6 Brett

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 09:59 AM

So, here we go - I'll try to be available to answer yes/no questions (that's how we play) throughout the day. The gist is, I'm going to tell you a story, and you have to figure out why what happened, happened. You do that by asking yes/no questions. Don't use Google, or you'll ruin the fun.

Here we go:

A man drives up to a small restaurant. He parks his car, and walks to the front door. There, a sign displays "Today's Specials." One of the specials is "Albatross Sandwich." The man reads the sign, sees that special, and smiles. He enters the restaurant, takes a seat. He orders an albatross sandwich. The sandwich arrives, and the man takes a bite. He chews, savors, thinks. After that bite, he puts the sandwich down. He walks outside to his car, locates his gun in his glove compartment, and shoots himself dead.

Why?

#7 MichiganGoat

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:02 AM

Because you can't eat your shame!

That a reference to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" if this story had poetic references then I'm the winner.

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#8 TWC

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:07 AM

Fuck YEAH, Rime of the Ancient Mariner!



#9 MichiganGoat

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:18 AM

Since I'm sure my poetic reference was not the right answer I'll ask a question

Where did he eat Albatross before?

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#10 Brett

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:21 AM

Since I'm sure my poetic reference was not the right answer I'll ask a question

Where did he eat Albatross before?

You have already failed. Yes or no questions only.

#11 Brett

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:27 AM

And, obviously, if anyone else wants to play, feel free to jump in with questions (I'm stepping out for lunch in a bit, but I'll be back).

#12 MichiganGoat

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:27 AM

So my perfect poetic answer was incorrect? Phew, this isn't as fun.

Okay: Did he make Albatross Sandwiches before?

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#13 TWC

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:28 AM

Lunch?!?! It's only 8:30 in the morning! What time was breakfast?

#14 Stinky Pete

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:28 AM

Was the man an albatross?

#15 Brett

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 10:32 AM

So my perfect poetic answer was incorrect? Phew, this isn't as fun.

Okay: Did he make Albatross Sandwiches before?


Of course, you start with one of the hardest questions to answer with a straight yes or no. But I must.

So, the answer is no.




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