87 replies to this topic

[MichiganGoat]

So I pulled the shit straw for assignments this week during the glorious educational monolith - standardized test hallway observation. So while Michigan 11th graders take the ACT I get to sit in a hall for 5 hours waiting for a teacher to need a bathroom break or if I'm lucky a steel cage brawl in a classroom. So tell me a joke or something because this is the worse thing a teacher does - sit and do nothing! Yeah No Child Left Behind - you are my nemesis.

[Brett]

Ok, I can help, but only if you DON'T LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET. Have you heard of the Albatross sandwich story/game?

[MichiganGoat]

Nope

[Luke]

I hated standardized testing days when I taught.

I had the room with students who needed the literary passages to be read aloud to them. Naturally, the day testing began I came down with the worst case of laryngitis I've ever had, but no worries, I had an assistant who could take over the reading, right?

Wrong. My assistant left, without telling anyone, to go home and wait on a furniture delivery.

That was not a fun week.

[Spencer]

Ok, I can help, but only if you DON'T LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET. Have you heard of the Albatross sandwich story/game?

I would like to know more.

[Brett]

So, here we go - I'll try to be available to answer yes/no questions (that's how we play) throughout the day. The gist is, I'm going to tell you a story, and you have to figure out why what happened, happened. You do that by asking yes/no questions. Don't use Google, or you'll ruin the fun.

Here we go:

A man drives up to a small restaurant. He parks his car, and walks to the front door. There, a sign displays "Today's Specials." One of the specials is "Albatross Sandwich." The man reads the sign, sees that special, and smiles. He enters the restaurant, takes a seat. He orders an albatross sandwich. The sandwich arrives, and the man takes a bite. He chews, savors, thinks. After that bite, he puts the sandwich down. He walks outside to his car, locates his gun in his glove compartment, and shoots himself dead.

Why?

[MichiganGoat]

Because you can't eat your shame!

That a reference to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" if this story had poetic references then I'm the winner.

[TWC]

Fuck YEAH, Rime of the Ancient Mariner!

[MichiganGoat]

Since I'm sure my poetic reference was not the right answer I'll ask a question

Where did he eat Albatross before?

[Brett]

Since I'm sure my poetic reference was not the right answer I'll ask a question

Where did he eat Albatross before?

You have already failed. Yes or no questions only.

[Brett]

And, obviously, if anyone else wants to play, feel free to jump in with questions (I'm stepping out for lunch in a bit, but I'll be back).

[MichiganGoat]

So my perfect poetic answer was incorrect? Phew, this isn't as fun.

Okay: Did he make Albatross Sandwiches before?

[TWC]

Lunch?!?! It's only 8:30 in the morning! What time was breakfast?

[Stinky Pete]

Was the man an albatross?

[Brett]

So my perfect poetic answer was incorrect? Phew, this isn't as fun.

Okay: Did he make Albatross Sandwiches before?

Of course, you start with one of the hardest questions to answer with a straight yes or no. But I must.

So, the answer is no.