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I Need a Friend: Come to a Cubs/Cards Game With Me Next Week
Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:03 PM
Edit: I would also contemplate getting a BN tatoo and/or I would be "that guy" for you if we talked to Ricketts again.
Edit: I would punch Ronnie "WOO WOO" in the face every time he woo's.
Edit: <insert crazy act here>
Edit: "You needn’t actually talk to me, or even look at me. But you must sit within five rows of me, and you must act like you know me when I wave (which I will do at least once every three innings)." How about this, I will sit
Edit: Ok, fine, you are a shrew negotiator. I will sell you this 1992 Geo Metro, today, right now, immediately, for $250 a month. That's it though. I can't go back to my manager on this one, it's now or never.
Edit: Ok, I will dick you in the dick, if necessary.
Edit: You know what? If I have to dick you in the dick to win the tickets - eat my shorts!
Edit: Ok, I am a sad, pathetic little man and would do anything for a free ticket to Wrigley.
Edit: In a pathetic response to the other candidates offers of free beer - I would be gracious enough to let you buy my beer.
Edit: Ok, I am done being a spaz.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 01:54 PM
Anyways. . .
It should be known, I have a handful of Cubs-related collectibles/paraphernalia that I have been looking to share with the diehardest of diehard Cubs fans. (Probably not the actual "die hard", although just when I think he couldn't say something any dumber, he could go and totally redeem himself.) Safe to say that you are very much one of those fans and would get some of those items.
Old Style will be consumed. Hot dogs will be eaten. Lance Berkman will be made fun of. Fun will be had by all.
P.S. Who wouldn't want to go see a game with this guy? See the YouTube link below. Two words. Chick. Magnet. (Yes, that is me . . . eating a hot dog at PNC Park in 2010, accompanied by Caleb singing the national anthem by himself in eight-part harmony, recorded by me. What can I say, we might have been drunk. . .)
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:01 PM
1. I will buy all your Old Styles as a thank you for the ticket and for running this blog.
2. If we talk about my job as an attorney, I will remind you why you made the right decision to leave the law and write this blog full time.
3. I love to sing and will belt out "Go Cubs Go!" with you after the Cubs win.
4. Despite attending a number of Cubs games, I've never had the opportunity to sit in the bleachers.
5. I hate the Cardinals.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:05 PM
- This is my first post.
- You can troll everyone in the forum by taking me, thinking I'm a StLouis fan.
- I just had shoulder surgery and need all the pity I can muster.
- From my surgery, I have narcotics I can share. (that's really a joke)
- I'd crawl over a million miles of broken glass to cut Tony LaRussa's mullet off. With a plastic butter knife.
- Because I'm really freaking funny.
- Because I'd buy you at least 3 Old Styles.
- The last 4 times I've been to Wrigley, I've seen Eddie Vedder.
Okay, I'm out. Best wishes to all who enter!
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:37 PM
Edit: By the way, this isn't an entry. But if anyone wants to take the "make a reality series" idea and run with it as their entry, I promise not to sue you (unless you make a lot of money off it).
Posted 18 April 2012 - 02:53 PM
While it is true that I'm very new to the Bleacher Nation family, I think that I've shown promise in the 5 (is it 5?) comments I've posted on your threads so far. As a Cubs fan, I've had to deal with plenty of terrible baseball these past 20 years, and this year I've decided that I'm going to be an optimist no matter what. Life's no fun being angry about baseball. This is wisdom that I can share to you, all at the price of a single ticket! Even if I don't get the ticket, that's cool too! That's a true optimist right there.
I work in a cubicle all day, which also provides me with intrinsic advantages for the "sitting in your general vicinity for a baseball game" position. My chair, frankly, isn't that comfortable. This has adequately prepared be for the rigors of bleacher seating, as evidenced by my attendance in the 2nd of 3 Cubs-Yankees games last year. I literally sat behind the scoreboard in that weird little area but my glutes were fine! Rest assured, I will not let you down in the sitting area; it's an area of my expertise (a great book, btw. I can share others!). I also, honestly, don't work that hard. Sure, I do my job, but I have plenty of time on my hands. I spend that time devouring baseball statistics. I'm no Voros McCracken or Clay Davenport, but I've got a decent knowledge of sabermetrics. I could teach you a few, which you could use at home to impress the ladies (chicks dig the Run Expectancy Matrix). As I'm only 24, I'm hardly qualified to speak at length about the near-misses of '84 and '45, but I assure the wounds inflicted by Alex Gonzalez and Brad Hawpe are still fresh. If you want to commiserate about those dark times to a knowing companion, look no further.
If a stranger had to describe me in 3 words, I bet those words would be pleasant, nice enough (if that's one word), and friendly. If you're going to meet up with and admit a total stranger to the ballpark, you can be assured that with me that person will be one with a clean criminal record and a proven history of being a pretty nice guy. I sing karaoke and play trivia on Thursdays (this is sounding like a personal ad. Sorry!) I drive my own car and listen to NPR on the way to work. If there was an amiability test, I'd pass.
In summary, I possess the qualities that you'd be looking for in a Personal Attendant of a Cubs Game. Please contact me anytime via email to discuss my passion, skills, and a position at Wrigley Field next week. I look forward to hearing your response.
Posted 18 April 2012 - 03:04 PM
1. The cubs are 4-0 when I have appeared at the games, but given this year's team even with my mojo working that streak may come to an end.
2. I promise I wont gush over you about being an internet celebrity, I promise I wont even bring it up once.
3. I'm Korean and we all know that we need more diversity in the fan base along with some additional color commentary.
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