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Member Since 31 Aug 2011
Offline Last Active Apr 11 2014 10:17 PM

#23784 Any coaches? (T-Ball, specifically)

Posted by Dave on 02 June 2012 - 05:22 PM

We played our first game this morning. The other team had the slight issue of every kid chasing after the ball when it was hit. Watching 10 kids make a mad dash for the ball is pretty amusing.

I thought the parents on my team were going to mutiny when Alex put on his Cubs hat to play the field. I said that he couldn't wear a Cardinals hat because I wanted him to get a hit.

#10994 Opening Day Game Thread: Nationals v. Cubs - April 5, 2012

Posted by Dave on 05 April 2012 - 12:58 PM


I miss Mark Bellhorn!!!!!

#10844 Opening Day Game Thread: Nationals v. Cubs - April 5, 2012

Posted by Dave on 05 April 2012 - 10:24 AM

4 hours until anything Cubs-related comes on. Think I'll pass the time by trolling a co-worker. I'm going to text her and tell her I need to see her in my office, and see how much time passes before I get a text saying something to the effect of 'Fuck You'.

12 minutes, for those keeping score at home.

Anyways, baseball, fuck yeah!

#6004 Nutella

Posted by Dave on 16 January 2012 - 07:17 AM

I feel quite confident in saying that this is the single greatest thing to ever grace this planet. Better than coffee, and I love coffee. If Nutella were taken off the shelves and the only way for me to get it would be to lick it off a homeless man's chest, I'd do it.

#5590 I can't wait for Spring Training

Posted by Dave on 05 January 2012 - 08:28 PM

Cincinnati is the worst place on earth, I have absolutely no reason to doubt it.

As for the topic at hand, I'm ready for Spring Training about 9 seconds after the 27th out of the last game of the World Series.

#5083 All This Anger on the BN Website...

Posted by Dave on 21 December 2011 - 06:08 PM

At least you hit the "D" instead of the "L" when you made your typo. Would've changed it entirely.

#3981 whats going to happen

Posted by Dave on 13 November 2011 - 07:32 PM

The previous regime did a wonderful job of making Zambrano appear to be a bat-shit crazy terrorist, which means it'll be hard for the Cubs to bring him back but also difficult to get anything at all for him in a trade. Honestly, since the Cubs need pitching, I hope they keep him and he pitches well enough to be a mid-season trade candidate.

#3421 Mobile friendly?

Posted by Dave on 29 October 2011 - 07:38 PM

Brett, is there a chance you can activate a mobile skin so the forums dont take forever to load on my phone so I can be a jerk without the hassle? If not, thats cool, I'll just have to put a curse on you to make your nose hairs grow extraordinarily fast.

#2093 Regular season re-quip

Posted by Dave on 03 October 2011 - 06:57 AM

The playoffs started 3 days ago, so it seems like a perfect time to recap the regular season. I went team-by-team (alphabetically, for some reason) and summed up their regular season in a line or two. It was tougher than you'd think.

Arizona Diamondbacks (94-68, 1st NL West) Surprising, but also uninteresting because the “Worst-to-First” thing has been done before by far more fascinating, watchable teams.

Atlanta Braves (89-73, 2nd NL East) History tells us they wouldn’t have done anything in the playoffs anyways.

Baltimore Orioles (69-93, 5th AL East) It’s a shame such a beautiful ballpark in such a magnificent city is stuck with such a perpetually awful team.

Boston Red Sox (90-72, 3rd AL East) Chooooooooooooooooooooooooooked!

Chicago Cubs (71-91, 5th NL Central) The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Chicago White Sox (79-83, 3rd AL Central) The new Bermuda Triangle, its where free agents go to disappear.

Cincinnati Reds (79-83, 3rd NL Central) Apparently being no-hit by Halladay creates a season-long hangover.

Cleveland Indians (80-82, 2nd AL Central) They played well until the depression pandemic hit which occurred after all the players remembered they play in Cleveland.

Colorado Rockies (73-89, 4th NL West) Remember that one time they were good?

Detroit Tigers (95-67, 1st AL Central) I’m proud of all the Tigers fans who donned their Kevlar and braved the crossfire in order to see the Tigers play.

Florida Marlins (72-90, 5th NL East) You know what will salvage this team? A crazy manager and a shiny new stadium.

Houston Astros (56-96, 6th NL Cental) Saying something mean would just be piling on, so I’ll say that Houston has a lovely airport.

Kansas City Royals (71-91, 4th AL Central) It isn’t really a baseball town, so nobody noticed how bad they were.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (86-76, 2nd AL West) I’m sorry, but if you do stupid things you’re not going to win the division.

Los Angeles Dodgers (82-79, 3rd NL West) From them we’ve learned that having the best pitcher and best position player doesn’t actually mean anything.

Milwaukee Brewers (96-66, 1st NL) I doubt moxie alone will led them to the pennant, but I could be wrong.

Minnesota Twins (63-99, 5th AL Central) Pretty terrible everywhere, neat stadium though.

New York Mets (77-85, 4th NL East) Would’ve been a better team if they hadn’t played so poorly.

New York Yankees (97-65, 1st AL East) How a team wins 97 games with that many AARP members is beyond me.

Oakland A’s (74-88, 3rd AL West) Once in college I tried listing all 50 states but it took me a day to remember New Jersey. That factoid is more interesting than anything the A’s did this year.

Philadelphia Phillies (102-60, 1st NL East) Eventually they’ll get old and quit winning. I eagerly await that day.

Pittsburgh Pirates (72-90, 4th NL Central) I imagine the champagne celebration when this team finally wins number 82 is going to be legendary.

San Diego Padres (71-91, 5th NL West) I feel sorry for the poor guy who has to go out in the sandbox beyond the outfield and mold “PADRES” into the sand before every home game.

San Fransisco Giants (86-76, 2nd NL West) Those old guys who retrieve foul balls are adorable.

Seattle Mariners (67-95, 4th AL West) No team with a moose for a mascot deserves anything.

St. Louis Cardinals (90-72, 2nd NL Central) So very incredibly lucky.

Tampa Bay Rays (91-71, 2nd AL East) We should probably quit calling them underdogs at this point.

Texas Rangers (96-66, 1st AL West) Had a great season that nobody outside of Dallas really noticed or cared about.

Toronto Blue Jays (81-81, 4th AL East) These guys are the new Rays, but without as many good players or smart people in the front office.

Washington Nationals (80-81, 4th NL East) They came, they played baseball, they left.

#1459 How I'm making my son grow up a Cubs fan.

Posted by Dave on 22 September 2011 - 06:57 AM

I think I’m a pretty good parent. I love Alex, my son; I encourage him in everything he does, I allow him to decide what he likes and who he is. Basically, I encourage him to explore and become whatever he wants to be. Except a Cardinals fan, that it.
I’ve been a Cubs fan all my life, in spite of being born on Chicago’s less than beautiful South Side. Since the age of 14 though, I’ve lived in Cardinals territory and it hasn’t been easy. The Cubs have made the playoffs just 4 times, including the magical (and surprising and ultimately disappointing) 1998 season, my first spent behind enemy lines. The Cards have made it 7 times, winning 2 pennants and a World Series. I’d say that’s advantage Cards fans. Considering the lopsidedness of the rivalry, I’d say Cards fans and I have co-existed peacefully over the years. I’ll wear my Cubs shirts (or, on a special occasion, my Cubs Jersey) and catch some 1908 or goat related flak and I’ll mumble something about steroids or the douchebag manager and players and its all over with. Once (on a train headed to a Cubs-Cards game in St. Louis) I did get into a rather loud argument with a Cardinals fan whose only redeeming quality (other than the luscious flowing mullet) was his disdain for the Yankees. The enemy of my enemy is not, however, my friend.
Alex comes into this because his mother happens to be a local, one of the few who has lived both sides of the rivalry but somehow picked the wrong one. While she was born in Missouri, she was raised in Chicago and moved back to MO for college. She says her time in Chicago only solidified her Cardinals fandom. That seems wrong. Wrigley is a cathedral, a beautiful park in an amazing neighborhood. Busch (both old and new) is a massive toilet, underneath a highway, surrounded by parking lots. Alas, as all men have needs and she had few other faults, our son was born, immediately into controversy. His mom argued that baseball is like religion, the kid inherits it from the mother. I countered by reminding her that he would be spending more time at games with me than with her. And back and forth it went. I’d buy him a Cubs shirt, it would mysteriously disappear. We would go to a game in St. Louis and I’d make sure Alex was wearing blue regardless of her wishes. This kept on as he got older though I’m not sure he’s ever really understood what was going on. In order to make sure I won, and that Alex chooses that path of righteousness I decided to go nuclear by putting the fear of god into my son. Not by shouting or hitting or any of the stuff that with short term gains and long term losses, but through little white lies, spread out over time that will lead to him having the inherent hatred of the St. Louis Cardinals that all little boys should have.
It started by accident a short time before Alex’s 4th birthday. In store one day we saw a Cardinals shirt so I pointed at it and said, “Alex, that’s a bad bird.” And he just looked and nodded, as little kids so. I realized that I could be onto something, but that I couldn’t overdo it, so I laid low for a while, mainly praising the “Blue Bear” instead of tearing down the Cardinals. After a few months, baseball season started up again. Living in the home of the Cardinals AA affiliate meant that in order to see real live baseball, we had to go to a Cards game. Ugh. I sucked it up and went anyways, using the opportunities to make my son hate the Cardinals. Whenever the Cardinals mascot came around, I’d tell Alex to hide his hot dog because the bad bird was going to steal it. He still does this, over a year later. I knew I’d have to go deeper than that to get that hatred really stuck in there, so I hit him at a primal level. Around the time the 2011 baseball season began I told him that the red bird is bad because it punches babies. As a kid himself, Alex has a soft spot for babies and, obviously, disagrees with them being punched, so this took hold. I went a step further and told him that the only thing that can prevent a baby from being punched is to have a “Blue Bear” round. Months later, about a week before his 5th birthday, he spotted a Cardinals stuffed animal in a store and told his mom that it’s a bad bird, it punches babies, and that he won’t go near it. She tried to reason with him, but reason doesn’t work on a 5 year old. That’s why I didn’t explain the Cardinals drug culture to him. It’s why I didn’t tell him about Tony La Russa being a big baby himself. It’s why I didn’t tell him how awful the Best Fans in Sports ® really are, or how crappy the city is. It’s why I convinced him that Cardinals=punched babies unless there is a Cub nearby. It worked. I won.

#1439 2012 PAYROLL?

Posted by Dave on 21 September 2011 - 06:33 PM

It tends to be the case - not a hardline rule, but tends to be the case - that a $10 million free agent is more than twice as valuable as two $5 million free agents.

Somehow Cubs free agents tend to be half as valuable as those earning half as much with other teams.

#1073 The New Manager Thread

Posted by Dave on 14 September 2011 - 06:08 AM

If Ricketts wants to follow the Cardinals model, he'd better stock up on syringes.

#485 Sabermetrics and Stats

Posted by Dave on 02 September 2011 - 03:50 PM

Also, I have trouble completely trusting proprietary stats like WAR, where the inputs aren't 100% known (case in point, the WAR values on Baseball Reference and Fangraphs are different - sometimes by a considerable amount).

If I remember correctly, BR and Fangraphs use different formulas, one of which includes UZR.

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