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Member Since 01 Sep 2011
Offline Last Active Oct 15 2013 10:10 AM

#53686 More PR Garbage To Fuel The Spankfest. (Choo)

Posted by Spencer on 25 August 2013 - 09:02 PM

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. [scoff] She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

#53656 Are you willing to give Sveum another chance?

Posted by Spencer on 25 August 2013 - 12:12 AM

I've thought about this from time to time and have always come out on the side of the argument that I think it would be unfair to fire Sveum after two seasons of the front office putting two really, really shitty teams together under his watch - teams are are impossible to win with. I am also adamantly against measuring his success in terms of W/L record; there are much better ways to decide if he is successful or not - mitten addressed some and I'll address some below.

Al that being said, I'm not so sure that I want to see him get an opportunity to win with a good team because I am not convinced that he could do it. I detest the way that he manages the entire pitching staff, and I think he often says things one day and then the very next day does the exact opposite of what he said before (Marmol and high leverage situations, the "best spot" for Castro is 8th, then bats him leadoff the next day, etc. etc.) I am also very concerned that either this coaching staff or maybe the front office did something or said something to Castro and Rizzo to make them alter their approach at the plate and have really broken them mechanically. So while part of me thinks it would be unfair to let him go without actually managing a team that has potential to be above .500, I'm not so sure I want him managing a team that actually has a chance to be legitimately good, and I'm not so sure I want him around guys like Baez and Almora when/if they make it to Chicago. And if Mike Scioscia is on the market and the Cubs even have the tiniest chance to get him, I would be ecstatic.

The only person I would be bummed about losing is Dave McKay because I think he is an excellent coach; he's obviously very good with defensive alignment and teaching, and has been around winning ball clubs before. If they ditch Sveum, I hope McKay stays on.

#53248 So, positives?

Posted by Spencer on 19 August 2013 - 09:21 PM

Well. This has quickly disintegrated from what I hoped would be a positive conversation (hence the title), into a crap show.

#52796 Monday Morning* Music - Ryan Adams

Posted by Spencer on 12 August 2013 - 02:39 PM

I don't know who Ryan Adams is, so I wiki'd him. Apparently he was in a band named "The Cardinals."  I don't know what kind of propaganda bullshit you're pushing, Thomas, but you've been caught red-handed. 

#51230 Cuns Calendar - 7/24 - Managing

Posted by Spencer on 24 July 2013 - 08:44 AM

Ragbrai got you down? And I totally miss read the Goats points.  I thought there was a t in cuns for a second.

ctuns isn't a word.

#51138 One thousand

Posted by Spencer on 23 July 2013 - 07:15 PM

Who will be the lucky person... And what will we do to celebrate such a feat?

Give them 1,000 warning points.

#49543 This Wriggle Fields usher was a meanie

Posted by Spencer on 07 July 2013 - 10:03 AM



#49339 Why I Dislike Alfonso Soriano (And You Might Want To, Too)

Posted by Spencer on 03 July 2013 - 09:16 PM

Is Soriano blocking someone? Did he suddenly become bad for team chemistry?  Has he stopped mentoring the young Latin talent on our team?


HEY EVERYONE! Here's why I hate player X on my favorite team. Let's all hate him together!!!! It'll be fun! Hip hip hooray.

#49178 This Lance Armstrong business

Posted by Spencer on 01 July 2013 - 10:49 PM

#48935 Trade Idea that won't be taken well.

Posted by Spencer on 27 June 2013 - 09:25 PM

Quantity does not equal quality.



Wait, let me try that again.






Any questions?


#48840 Samardzija is an Ace (le sigh)

Posted by Spencer on 26 June 2013 - 06:16 PM


Ugh, that thread has Morken in it.

#47620 Women in Baseball?

Posted by Spencer on 10 June 2013 - 04:37 PM




#47619 2015 Ace options

Posted by Spencer on 10 June 2013 - 04:34 PM

When/if Price gets healthy this year, I, along with the rest of baseball, am going to be watching his velocity stats very carefully.  

#47568 Series She-View: Reds v. Cubs, June 10 - June 13

Posted by Spencer on 10 June 2013 - 08:02 AM

Yvonne Strahovski for the Cubs, because Dexter is coming back at the end of this month.  Idk who for the Reds.   I would find a picture, but I'm in the middle of a classroom, so that'd be weird.

#45110 Apropos of Nothing

Posted by Spencer on 09 May 2013 - 11:53 PM

Bleacher Nation is not affiliated in any way with Major League Baseball or the Chicago National League Ballclub (that's the Cubs).