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Oswego Chris

Member Since 11 Sep 2011
Offline Last Active Apr 15 2014 02:45 PM

#58265 True Detective Fans...Marty and Rust Talk Cubs(WARNING...DON'T READ IF YO...

Posted by Oswego Chris on 25 February 2014 - 03:06 PM

Sorry I offended you Paul, it was written as a satire of the show...

I too have lost close family members to cancer, and was not making light of cancer, just the dialogue of the characters of a TV show...

#57851 The 45 Year Old(Cubs Convention) Virgin

Posted by Oswego Chris on 20 January 2014 - 04:45 PM

This weekend was indeed my first Cubs Convention, and I must admit if I hadn't been "chosen"(I still had to pay a pretty penny for the booth) to be one of the vendors...I would still be sitting at zero for my CubsCon appearances.  Being a vendor, I was relegated to the exhibition hall for the entire weekend so I did not partake in anything other than selling myself and my book.  It was still a weird, wild and exhausting experience....with an emphasis on the weird.  Here are just a few tidbits some of you may find interesting:


-my booth was next to Pat's, as in Hughes, but he told me to call him "Pat"... so who am I to argue?  I plan on writing a seperate post about how amazed I was at the humility, class and grace he showed throughout the weekend.  He also chuckled within a minute of skimming through my book.(with my luck it was probably just something in Brett's Foreward)


-speaking of the fearless leader of this fine on-line community...I had numerous people come up to my booth looking for him, and numerous people thinking I was actually him...like it was some weird identity dodge similar to Keyser Soze.


-Famous to Semi-Famous people that I was able to get a copy to; Pat, Wayne Messmer...and with an assist from my brothers Tom Ricketts and Crane Kenney. (go ahead, call me a sell-out or a brown noser).  Yet the most intriguing one is the possibility that I may have gotten one via back channel to Steve Bartman.


- as Baez, Soler, Bryant, Edwards and Almora were guided past my booth by security...with hoards of autograph seekers and fans chasing them like they were the 1964 Beatles...I had to wonder what the actual Cubs thought of that?  Gotta be a bit tough on the ego I would have to think? I do no know that George Kattaras was relegated to the kids section.


-Google the phrase "Cubs' fans tatoos" and a fella will come up(who was there all weekend) who has the numbers 14,10, and 26 permanently tatooed on his head.  I would like to ask that guy (maybe he is a BNer)...That's great for the Cubs' Convention...but what to you do for the other 362 days of the year? 


-and finally(and if you are easily disgusted you may want to skip this one)...I have a bit of a Diet Pepsi addiction...and on one of my rare quick trips to the Men's room, I was the only person standing at the urinals. However, I realized I was not alone as a strange noise started to eminate from one of the stalls...it sounded part barnyard animal, part suffering human...with a bit of torture thrown in.  I had no idea, what was spewing in there...and from what orifice it was originating from. I honestly could not detect if it was a bowel movement, or a sick person retching. The toliet quickly flushed and out from the stall emerged...in full uniform...one Ronnie Woo-Woo. I quickly washed my hands and scurried back to my booth.


Ronnie continued to mingle with the crowd, shake hands, and get his picture taken with admirers. 


I was a CubsCon virgin no more.






#57755 Lay Off Clark!

Posted by Oswego Chris on 13 January 2014 - 04:38 PM

I can't blame Cubs' fans for the synical sarcastic troup we have become...but the Twitter rants against the Cubs' new mascot "Clark" seem a bit on the silly side to me.  I just feel the need to point out a few things:


- for those saying things such as "try fielding a winning team instead of worrying about a f#%king mascot!" (yes I read that almost word for word today)...Do you really think the creation and marketing of Clark has taken anything away from the off season plans?  If Tanaka doesn't come here, is it because the Ricketts family placed a higher priority on Clark? Is Clark going to knock our farm system down a few notches? 


-most kids(not all) love anything in a costume, even a character as crap-tastic as Chuck-E-Cheese!  When Tommy Hawk comes around at a Hawks game the kids go absolutely ape-shit.  Been to Disney World with kids before?...it could be raining freaking Blow-Pops and if characters come around the kids will go ga-ga for whatever member of the 7 dwarves it is.


-Clark is for kids...and yes I just made that point, but all of the anger and bitterness reminds me just a little of how nerdy Fan-boys react when Batman isn't quite tough enough, or Star Trek diverges from the official history of the Klingons, or the mention of JarJar Binks.(yes, I thought the character of JarJar was pretty bad, but I was 31 when I saw that movie...not 8.) Clark should have no bearing(wow, that's such a bad unintended pun that I should really take it out) on what anyone over the age of 11 thinks of the Cubs. He is not playing. 


There will be many jokes made at Clark and the Cubs' expense over the next few days and some of them will be funny(I saw one about him already eating 3 rooftop owners) but the Cubs are just trying to create a new revenue stream, and there are only 3 teams in all of baseball now that do NOT have mascots...the Dodgers, Yankees, and Angels.(Teams with revenue gushers compared to most team's "streams")


So please, give Clark a chance...for the kids.


and if he is a complete bust(like Poochie) may we never speak of him again.








#57733 Okay...now I am Mad(dux) about HOF voting

Posted by Oswego Chris on 09 January 2014 - 10:50 AM

I knew Greg Maddux wasn't going to get 100%...fine.  I really did think he would get 99% or at least tie with Seaver and Nolan Ryan for the all time high at 98.8%...




What really irks me about this is Nolan Ryan...full disclosure, while I think he was a tremendously dominant pitcher, I have never been a fan of Mr. Nolan Ryan.  I thought he got a free pass in lots of areas. For example, the unwritten rule that you did not try to bunt for a hit on Nolan...because if you did, he would hit you with a pitch the next time.  So, it was okay to bunt on Jim Abbott, you know... the guy with one hand? ...but the mean, nasty, ornery Texan...you better not bunt on him!


There is a deeper comparison of the two in my book, but let's just take a look at Greg Maddux vs. the great Nolan Ryan:



Let's start with control:


Greg pitched 5,000 career innings, walking exactly 999.  Nolan Ryan pitched 5,386 and walked 2,795.(gag...cough!) 

Strikeout to walk ratio...Greg 3.37, Nolan 2.04

Greg had 70 career wild ptiches, Nolan had 277.


How about old-schooly stats:


Greg won 355 with a .610%, Nolan won 324 with a .526

WHIP...Greg 1.143, Nolan 1.247

ERA...Greg 3.16, Nolan 3.19


A few sabre-stats:


Career WAR...Greg 104.6, Nolan 83.8 (ummm, that's a lot considering Ryan played 4 more seasons)

ERA plus....Greg 132, Nolan 110

162 win%...Greg .518, Nolan .509


Awards and Post-season


Cy Young Awards...Greg 4, Nolan 0

Gold Gloves...Greg 18, Nolan 0 (but don't you dare bunt on him!)

Post Season Wins...Greg 11, Nolan 2 (yes Maddux played with expanded play-offs longer than Nolan)


 I know...Nolan had 7 no-hitters to Greg's 0...and he struck out a lot more guys...but sorry pards, that's it. Greg Maddux kicks Nolan Ryan's ass in pretty much every other pitching category. (AngryTexan: Yeah, but Nolan would kick his ass in real life, y'all see what he did to that Ventura feller?"




But there may be 25-50 pitchers who compares more favorably with Greg Maddux than Nolan Ryan.







#57627 Tanaka Talk...Day 2...The Dreaded Dodgers!

Posted by Oswego Chris on 27 December 2013 - 11:18 AM

Let's take a quick look at the Dodgers.  Yes, they sign everyone and anyone...and they keep getting mentioned for Tanaka...but should they be?


1.  Yes.  They deserve to be mentioned because they have spent so crazily...but, on the other hand....


2.  Coming into 2014, starters on their payroll include Greinke 26M, Josh Beckett 17M, Chad Billingsley 12M, Ryu 4.3M, Dan Haren 10M, and that left-handed elephant in the room...Kershaw...who will either have a new contract or an ARB number... conservatively will put him at 20M......that's $99 million committed to starters


3. How 'bout the pen? Brian Wilson 10M, Brandon League 8.5M, JP Howell 5.5M, Jamey Wright 1.8M, and Chris Perez 2.3M(with a shit-ton of incentives)...so that's another $28 M...and possibly more


4.  AGonz 22M, Kemp 21M, Crawford 21M, Hanley Ramirez 16M, Either 15.5M, Juan Uribe 7.5M, Alexander Guerrero 6.5M, & Puig 3.7M..

that's another $113M right there


so conservative 2014 Dodgers salary $230 million with Boston kicking in about 6 to get it down to 224 or so...(and 137M of this money is signed through 2017...not including Kershaw!)


Can they afford this? Forbes lists last years revenue at 245M...but in 2014 the Dodgers will start getting the mega-TV $ they signed(and apparently have already been spending)...which by estimates should kick in 300-400M for the next 20 years...


they have money, but man...there has to be a limit somewhere..




Posted by Oswego Chris on 26 December 2013 - 10:31 AM

The phrase "into Tanakas" is an obscure reference to the film "Weird Science"...sorry for my pop culture randomness


A few winters ago, when I was still a BN virgin, I wrote one of my first pieces on the message board about how small of a market there was for one Alfonso Soriano.  Fans were screaming, "you gotta trade this guy now!"...and the purpose of my writing was to note how little of a chance there was at that time.  (Brett linked it to the main page, I swooned, and then came up with the crazy notion that I could do this writing stuff)


Now, as Tanaka-madness descends on BN, and all other Cubs' related asylums, I decided to dig deeper into this.  It's really simple to just say "they won't be outbid"(positively) or "they have no chance" (negatively).  I decided to research the topic a bit by looking at the big contenders revenues, salaries, operating income, money coming off the books, etc.  So depending on the interest from the BN reader, I plan on looking at some of the teams who hope to be "into Tanakas". Brett has accurately stated that the Cubs could do their absolute best in this and not even come close...because "there will be blood" when it comes to competing for this guy.


My first team I am going to profile is the Boston Red Sox.  Not many pundits are putting them in the conversation, but I just have a hunch that they could swoop in and get involved. Here are my reasons:


1.  According to Forbes magazine, the Red Sox posted the 2nd highest revenues in baseball last year(Yankees were 1st)...and they were 2nd by a wide margin...almost 70 million ahead of the next team and a 100m ahead of most teams. 


2.  After 2014, they will have 90 million dollars coming off the books.  No, that's not a misprint...90!


3.  The Red Sox have one of the best farm systems in baseball, thus they can project that they would be able to surround Tanaka with some very good, yet cheap, talent.  The Yankees do NOT have this luxury.


4. Yes most of us get tired of the "East coast bias" in coverage, but the Yankees and Red Sox really are like Cold War foes(not sure who is U.S. and who is the Soviets?)  I can't see the Sawx standing by and just letting the Yanks get this guy without a fight.


5.  Although the BoSox had poor luck with Dice-K, they still won a World Series with him.  The notion that they will sit out because of their past experiences seem silly to me...while most scouts do not put Tanaka on equal footing with Darvish....he's in the discussion.  I think the Sawx will look to that more than a Japanese pitcher they signed 10 years ago.


feel free to rip my analysis to shreds...




Posted by Oswego Chris on 15 July 2013 - 12:20 PM

I was listening to WGN Sports Central, with Jim Memolo and Glen Kozlowski, when Jim made what I thought was one of the best statements about PED's that I have ever heard:


A caller asked "why are the guys who used amphetamines from the 70's and 80's not vilified like the steroid/HGH guys"


I thought his response was great...he said "using amphetamines is like using make-up, where HGH and steroids are like plastic surgery"


simple, but made so much sense to me...


I will continue to use it on any occasions when the topic comes up...


giving him full credit of course.



Posted by Oswego Chris on 12 July 2013 - 07:52 AM

10.  All cheering and applause must be replaced by quiet Golf-clapping.


9.   Booing and hissing replaced by quaint collective gasps.


8.   As alternative to Jumbotron, fans encouraged to wear Sony Watch-mans to view exciting replays.


7.   Ronnie Woo-Woo no longer allowed to "woo", will now be referred to as Ronnie Hush-Hush.


6.  Wood bats and baseballs to be replaced by Nerf products, to eliminate noise polluting "cracking" of bat.


5.  Cubs allowed 1 yearly concert, rotating performers include Kenny G, Michael Bolton and Neil Diamond.


4.  40 percent of all ticket sales to go to Tunney's favorite charity "TAIPAI"-The Assisting of Illinois Politicians After Incarceration.


3.  7th inning stretch conductors encouraged to replace "Alright let me hear you" with "Alright, let's try to keep the noise at a respectable level because there are people who are trying to sleep who apparently didn't realize what happens when you move so close to one of the most popular Major League Ballparks in history...a one, shhhh, a two, shhhh."


2.  "Go Cubs Go" to be replaced with "Silent Night"


1.  Rooftop owners to convert buildings into Transformers, allowing them better vantage points around the field.






#49820 GARZA WATCH 2013!!!!

Posted by Oswego Chris on 10 July 2013 - 08:19 AM

Okay, I decided to take a bit of a break each day from my non-stop book promoting(although there will be a not-so veiled attempt at the end of this post).


This a fun and exciting time for us Cubs' fans...the trade deadline...the time of year where our perpetual suckage on the field parlays itself into an opportunity to rid ourselves of a currently good player...in exchange for potentially good(doubtful) players in the future...it's Christmas in July!


this year we got ourselves a biggie in Matt Garza.  Over the next few weeks, I will attempt to post a daily GARZA WATCH 2013(imagine loud dramatic music after saying that) that may help filter through all of the constant chatter, rumors, and illegal intelligence gathering.


Here is today's breakdown(there is no scientific methods used, just my intuition(ugh, I sound like Die-Hard) and my constant rumor searching


THE TOP FIVE                                                                                COMMENTS


1.  Texas Rangers                                                                           Still need pitching, still have a plethora of prospects

2.  Cleveland Indians                                                                       Rare opportunity to go for it, only 2-3 games out and Tigers aren't pulling away

3. Boston Red Sox                                                                          Theo connection will probably keep them on here daily

4.  Washington Nationals                                                                Need pitching, but have a worse run differential than Cubs

5.  LA Dodgers                                                                                They are trying to acquire every good player in the universe...and apparently they have a trillion dollars



On The Verge(6 teams)

- the Orioles...two trades with Cubs?

- the A's...especially if Bartolo gets suspendo

- D-Backs...lotsa youth to trade

-Yankees...can't count them out

-Pirates...same division, but doubt they would sign him

-Braves...pitchers are young...but waiting on Beachy


Currently Out(8 teams)

- Giants and Padres...they now have worse records than the Cubs, one hot streak could put them back in hunt

- Angels and Blue Jays- are ten games out of play-offs

- Cardinals and Reds...nahhhh!

-Tigers, Rays...starting pitching not a problem


Very, very, very......very doubtful

-extension with Cubs


Out!...you bad teams

White Sox, Royals, Mets, Phillies, Twins, Rockies, Astros, Marlins, Brewers, Mainers



all this work...he will probably get traded today..


Once again please follow me and my book @BBCG104Reasons on Twitter...I may also soon be offering personally inscribed copies here directly on BN...these make great gifts, and will undoubtedly be worth a fortune some day( believe it or not, I have probably inscribed 3 to 4 hundred of these)...details to follow...


GARZA WATCH 2013! (sound of lightning striking)



Posted by Oswego Chris on 07 June 2013 - 09:13 AM

I really don't want this to come off as condescending, but as an older, more experienced gent I feel I have to offer some thoughts on the proposed trades I see on this site.


When proposing a trade one must look at it from the other teams' perspective. For example, I have seen many ideas/proposals about the Cubs trading for Jurikson Profar of the Rangers...now if I were the Rangers, and the Cubs wanted Profar...here would be my conditions


1.  One of Baez, Almora or Soler has to be in the deal.


2.  I might bite on Castro, but only if the Cubs throw in a top 5-10 prospect...or two


3.  No, I don't want Soriano, and please don't ask me again.


4.  I will take Smardizja...if we have a window to work on an extension...


5.  No, I don't want Vitters, Brett Jackson, or even Junior Lake.


6.  I would have some interest in Vogelbach, but he would be the start of the package.


7. No, I don't want Garza, the injuries scare me and he is a rental....


8. Kevin Gregg?...really...you guys just picked him off the scrap heap...I know he is pitching well, but no thanks


9. I said don't mention Soriano!


10.  I would also take Rizzo.


Some of you may think this is crazy, but you have to take your Cubs fans brains out for a bit when you look at these things....once again, not trying to dash anyone's dreams or ideas...just my two cents



and speaking of two cents(actually, that's about what I get for every book sale)...if you have bought my book, and read it...please, please, please...give me a review on Amazon.  The only non 5 star reviews I have(okay they were 4's..but still) are from guys who went to my high school and I have not seen in 20 years...one didn't even read it and one says it's great but doesn't like that I blamed the Cubs for Maddux leaving...


okay...enough pimping of the book...


@oswegochris23                     @BBCG104Reasons

#45180 More Reasons Soon, and another thank you and a request

Posted by Oswego Chris on 10 May 2013 - 06:45 PM

According to the publisher it will be on Barnes and Noble.com soon


Posted by Oswego Chris on 29 December 2012 - 04:51 AM

Personally, I find New Years' Resolutions a bit silly...NOT when they are regarding the Chicago National League Ball-club!

In no particular order:

1. There is to be no mention of, or re-emergence of one Koyie Hill. If spotted, clubhouse attendants are instructed to say "Just keep walkin' Koyie"

2. The club must publicly admit: NO ONE WANTS ALFONSO SORIANO...

3. Any employee who engages in premature leaking(yuck) of free-agent signings or trades will be re-assigned to Kane County...if said employee violates the policy again, they will be forced to work for the White Sox

4. Tom Ricketts must remove his big screen HD TV from right field and take it back to his living room...then buy a bigger one that can actually be seen throughout the park.

5. Before trading of entire pitching staff in June, Jed Hoyer must make sure there are players in the system who have actually pitched before...unlike Justin Germano, Brooks Raley, etc....(editors note...The Cubs started addressing this one early!)

6. Note to the Ricketts children...keep your addy-d way-a rom-f ahm-R manuel-E

7. Ian Stewart must be placed in a secure hyperbaric chamber encased in foam until opening day.

8. KHP(Koyie Hill Policy) listed above also applies to Chris Volstad.

9. Pay attention Starlin!

10. "Guest-conductors" of the 7th inning stretch must be 1. People we have actually heard of. 2. Not-hawking a new movie,book, or appearance. 3. Not a high school coach of any kind, it's great your team won the title...but we don't know you...or care. 4. A person who has actually seen a Cubs' game before, or at least knows what baseball is. 5. Not totally washed up...Erik Estrada=No...Eddie Vedder is still okay....for now

#29549 The Invention of Lying....morning sports page edition

Posted by Oswego Chris on 22 July 2012 - 07:37 AM

Ricky Gervais wrote, directed and starred in a fine little movie you probably missed a couple of years ago call "The Invention of Lying"...in the film everyone tells the truth, and lying does not exsist, their brains aren't wired to lie...Ricky's character figures it out..and needless to say, it's kind of funny.

Why the movie snynopsis? Because as I was reading all of the articles in the sports page this morning it amazes me how many people do not say what they are really thinking, they all lie or if they don't flat out lie, they rationalize. Here is what some of the quotes should really say:


Garza: " My elbow hurt so bad that I couldn't even move my arm, shit it hurt! Cramps sounds better though, so that's what we went with"

Hoyer: "Garza will most certainly go on the DL, and any hope of trading him this year is probably done, we will continue to minimize the injury and hope and pray a miracle happens"


Ned Colletti: "We are still trying to obtain Dempster for a couple of B prospect bums who we don't really want. I will continue to leak stories to the press of our non interest to get Dempster without giving up shit "

Hoyer: "This is a scary-ass game of poker we are playing with Dempster, if we dont trade him...we are F#$ked...I will continue to bluff teams trying to milk the best prospects we can"


Ventura: "Damn it, we were up three and a half games like a week ago, now that we are playing these better teams on the road we are exposed a bit, plus there is no way these AAA pitchers will not get hit the second time teams see them...I will just continue to say stuff like 'it's a marathon not a sprint' and 'one game at a time'
Hawk Harrelson: very awkward silence


Dale Svuem: "Holy F#$ing shit! Did you see that bullshit? What do you expect when you keep throwing crap like Manny Corpas and his 85 MPH fastball out there...12 F#$ing runs in an inning? What is this F#$ing little league, no wait, in F#$ing little league they have a run limit...maybe that's what we F#$ing need..."

if you read the papers this morning, you read the opposite of the truth

#28698 My Second-Half Wish....85 or less

Posted by Oswego Chris on 09 July 2012 - 09:53 PM

There has been much talk on this site about hoping the Cubs get the overall worst record, thus the first overall pick. I am taking the opposite approach...they are currently 33-52...I want them to lose 85 games or less...unrealisitic?...probably...a 44-33 second half does seem doubtful...but I think it is more important to start to see some winning than just losing 100 plus and getting a high pick...some quick reasons:

1. Svuem- if they finish up strong, or respectable, it's good for the manager and his cred going forward...if they lose 100 games, as unfair as it would be, Svuem will lose some players and the fans...plus, just for the dude's sanity

2. The Core- like it or not, I would imagine at least half the roster will be back for 2013...we are not just going to have 21 new guys with TWood, Samardzija, Castro and Rizzo...more than likely guys like Barney, Russell, Clevenger, Lahair, DeJesus, Campana, Maholm, and yes maybe even Soriano and Marmol could all be back

3. A winning second half means guys like Rizzo and Wood continue their successes..would you rather have a team of 20 somethings on an upswing, or expect them to start learning how to win next year, or the year after?

I realize that if Dempster AND Garza both go then 77 wins is a pipe dream.....but how nice would it be for the fans, players and management to feel that the bottom was in the first half of 2012...and the arrow is pointing up...

feel free to express why you feel we have to tank it to get the worst record....


Posted by Oswego Chris on 24 June 2012 - 07:59 AM

Take this for what it's worth, which is the opinion of a 43 year old Cub fan who has seen many a team and many a prospect.(which really isn't worth much) But I have a very strong hunch that the Cubs Farm system is about to become one of the tops in all of baseball. I know this sounds a bit goofy, but it's like a big wave, or explosion waiting to happen. Enough with the lame analogies, here is my reasoning:

- The amount of money spent on the 2011 draft, and the numerous overslots are going to payoff big...some are already (too bad Team Hendry figured this out the last year you could do it)

- The (eventual?) addition of Soler will be essentially buying another top 5 system prospect, and a guy that should at least make Top 100 lists, if not Top 50 or higher.

-Javiar Baez, who was already on many top 100 lists, will vault even higher.

-The Ricketts strong Dominican investment is starting to bear some fruit(see Lukes morning write-up)

- recent total suckage at the major league level has paid off with high picks, and probably much higher in 2013

- as the summer and fall league play out there may be numerous guys who get some love in all of the prospect rankings after 2012: Junior Lake, Vogelbach, Alamora(assuming he signs) Candelario(sp)

Those of you who followed my award winning(in my own head) crype series last year know how I feel about prospects...a majority of them will bust. However it is essential that your farm system is consistently highly ranked if you want to sustain success in the bigs(for obvious reasons). Perception is often more important than reality. If you want to play with the Braves, Yankees and Red Sox, this is the way to do it.

Bleacher Nation is not affiliated in any way with Major League Baseball or the Chicago National League Ballclub (that's the Cubs).