Humorous Take on Alfonso Soriano’s Contract February 17, 2011, by Brett Taylor Cubs Humor The Onion suggests a method for dealing with Alfonso Soriano’s cripplingly large contract. Emphasis on cripple. Thanks to reader Brent for the find. Onion SportsDomeHEAD DOWN TO THE COMMENTS OR SHARE THIS SWELL POST WITH YOUR FRIENDS: Post navigationPrevious PostPrevious post:Allow Your Albert Pujols Fantasies to Run Wild for a Day or TwoNext Post Next post:Positional Players Report, And Other Spring Training Bullets More From Bleacher NationTom Ricketts Speaks: Large Budget, Past Signings Create Inflexibility, Russell, Sosa, MoreYankees Add Another Arm to Their Absurd Bullpen: Adam Ottavino Gets Three YearsJed Hoyer Speaks: Payroll Level, Internal Improvements, Bullpen, Russell’s Conditional Second-Chance, MoreReport Out of New York Suggests Bryant and Rizzo Pushed Chili Davis Out the Door (I Am Dubious)MLBits: More Rule Changes Coming? Improving Attendance, Future Hall-of-Famers, Bryant vs. Rizzo, MoreHot for Hottovy, Happ Leads, El Mago Coaches, and Other BulletsManny Machado’s Agent is MADCubs Claim Ian Clarkin Off of Waivers from the White Sox (Yes, Again)For the First Time, Ricketts Family Will Not Host Fan Panel at Cubs ConventionThis Market, Man: Reported White Sox Offer to Manny Machado is Just 7 Years, $175 MillionAuthor: Brett Taylor Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.