When Javy Baez destroys a baseball, it is visible to all of us. You know, like he did last night against the Diamondbacks, sending one 420 feet out into the Arizona air, and unleashing a primal scream worthy of a certain 19th century work of art:
What was not visible to us, however, was the destruction Baez wrought on a bathroom near the Cubs dugout after he was deeply frustrated by his first two plate appearances on the night:
YO. That’s some frustration right there.
— jon greenberg (@jon_greenberg) September 18, 2018
Javier Baez destroyed a Chase Field bathroom and then took out the rest of his frustrations on Patrick Corbin and the Diamondbacks. Just another MVP night for El Mago. https://t.co/LGPohowtYf
— Patrick Mooney (@PJ_Mooney) September 18, 2018
Javier Baez on his home run in the Cubs' win at Arizona on Monday:
— ChicagoSports (@ChicagoSports) September 18, 2018
As Baez told Mooney in an absolutely PERFECT quote: “It wasn’t on purpose. I actually slammed the door and I threw my bat. The bat was broken and I threw it to the wall and it bounced and it hit the mirror. If it was on purpose, that whole sink was going to be gone. It’s all right. It worked. I hit a home run.”
I’m not about gratuitous destruction of property or anything – I’m sure Baez will take care of things on his end – but if it is followed by a massive dinger every time, then I hope no bathroom in the National League is safe for the rest of the year.
(I would like credit for observing a compelling level of restraint in avoiding any obvious mixings of the words “destroy” and “massive” and “bathroom.” Thank you very much for your appreciation of my maturity.)