Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animals

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Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animals

Chicago Cubs

‘Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the blog, not a rumor was stirring, not even one about freaking Jake Peavy or Brian Roberts.

The stockings were hung by the center field ivy with care, in the hopes that Curtis Granderson Mike Cameron Coco Crisp any-freaking-body soon would be there.

Ok, that’s all I got. Merry Christmas, friends. You can expect limited posting for the rest of the day and tomorrow. Obviously, if news breaks, we’ll have it here, but I’m not likely to finishing penning that scintillating Cubs Caravan piece until Sunday or so.

In the interim, enjoy some Cubs holiday parody news pieces – written by yours truly in another life – from the Cubs Brickyard.

Randy Wells Concerned to Learn that Carlos Zambrano is His Secret Santa

Lou Piniella: Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present OK, Ghost of Christmas Future “Kind of a dick”

Pie and Soriano on Surprise Christmas Party Makeout Session: “It was the Mistletoe!”

Jim Hendry Asks for Jake Peavy for Christmas – Result is Humorous, Disastrous

New Children’s Book “Where’s Soriano” Not Exactly This Year’s Tickle Me Elmo

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Author: Brett Taylor

Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Cubs Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.