It’s crazy that just five days ago, Joe Maddon and the Chicago Cubs was not a thing. Now it feels like this gigantic, horned monster wearing velvet shoes that dominates our every thought. Everyone can see it, so everyone has to talk about it. Why is he wearing those velvet shoes? We want to know! He’s not telling anyone why he’s wearing them, but we know he’ll tell us soon. So we keep peeking around the corner at him, hoping we won’t take a horn in the nose for our trouble.