Every other baseball team’s fax machine is clearly broken. (Also, why are you guys still using fax machines?)
That’s the only explanation for why players keep trying to take an extra base on Kyle Schwarber, whose arm in left field is strong, accurate, and borderline sensual:
Apparently the Mets did not get the memo. You do not run on Kyle Schwarber.
— Cubs Talk (@NBCSCubs) May 31, 2018
Out by a mile, you foolish fool.