Theo Epstein, Dog Pee, Scorpion Infestation, and Other Cubs Bullets

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Theo Epstein, Dog Pee, Scorpion Infestation, and Other Cubs Bullets

Chicago Cubs

The NLCS is already settled, and the ALCS could conclude as soon as tomorrow. The World Series doesn’t start for another six days, though, so we could be in for a lotta off-days soon.

  • With the first and most expected managerial domino falling (Joe Maddon to the Angels), you wonder if other hiring decisions will come out this week, especially with the NLCS now over, and the ALCS about to be beset by rain. MLB doesn’t like big announcements to conflict with the focus on the games, but when the games aren’t being played, I reckon they don’t much mind. In theory, whenever it is that Gabe Kapler’s interview is complete, the Cubs might be finished with the interview process, and may come to a decision as soon as this week.
  • Ah, the age old question: which is worse, dog pee or 45 venomous scorpions? Such is presented, kinda, by a lawsuit involving Theo Epstein:

  • I’ll just be over here shuddering in terror at this part of the article:

“[Exterminator Ben] Holland wrote that he found 45 Arizona bark scorpions on the property. Most of them appeared to live in five containers of wood and stone debris in the backyard, Holland wrote, adding that the scorpions in the area “lit up like a Christmas tree” when he shined a black light upon them.

“These scorpions have clearly been living here for a long time and there is an established adult and juvenile scorpion population,” Holland wrote to Epstein’s administrative assistant ….

Arizona bark scorpions, the type found in the Valentino home, are the most venomous species found in the Southwest. Their stings are rarely fatal but can cause severe pain and other symptoms like nausea, tingling, and vomiting. Children and pets are especially susceptible to the Arizona bark scorpion’s sting.

[Cubs VP of Communications Julian] Green said one or two days after Holland’s sweep, Epstein encountered a scorpion after bathing his infant son. That was the last straw. The Epsteins moved out of the house in mid-March and found another rental property for the last two weeks of spring training.”

  • Epstein doesn’t seem too upset by the lawsuit, joking that he said there are no untouchables, so his dog can be had in the right deal (SI). In all seriousness, though, it sounds like the owners were probably ticked that the Epsteins moved out after the scorpion incident and would not pay the rest of their rent, that festered over the years (four and a half years?), and then it turned into this lawsuit. I can’t speak to whether the dog really did do a lot of pee damage, but I can say with confidence if there were a ton of scorpions around my kids, I also woulda left that place immediately. Heck, some of the pee might have been my own, dribbling down my terrified thigh.
  • Re-upping Michael’s great bananas piece for anyone who missed it:

  • I am always here for praise of the Cubs’ top prospects:

  • Oof. Rough take on one of the all-time greats, but absolutely fair:

  • Sean Doolittle is proof you can be an awesome professional baseball player, a good person, and ALSO a huge nerd:

  • Great Bears anniversary today:

Author: Brett Taylor

Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Cubs Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.