The Stupid Hypotheticals Lots of Losing Makes You Think About and Other Cubs Bullets

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The Stupid Hypotheticals Lots of Losing Makes You Think About and Other Cubs Bullets

Chicago Cubs

Time and distance always soften my edges, so I feel less outwardly hostile than I did a couple nights ago. But I’m not sure I can go as far as offering a renewed sense of optimism.

  • The Cardinals were a league-worst 11-24 when they came to Wrigley Field 10 games ago. They have now won eight of those ten games. It was precisely what we feared when that series started. The Cubs were the cure. The Phillies come into tonight’s series the losers of four in a row, and 10 of their last 15. Can the Cubs please not also help them get right this weekend?
  • Whatever. I gotta stop thinking like that. The Cubs now have enough on their own plate to worry about, not the volume of teams they’ve helped get right. The Cubs just wrapped up a calendar month of 8-18 play. They’ve won just two of their last ten. Lord this all sucks.
  • These are the times when I think about really stupid things like: if you could guarantee the Cubs would sign Shohei Ohtani after this season *AND* win this year’s lottery (i.e., number one overall pick in 2024), would you be OK with the Cubs losing every game the rest of the way? Or, say, just missing the postseason on the last day of the year because of a terrible call? Or some other outcome for this year that is the most painful thing imaginable? You would take that deal, right? Does it make me a bad fan if I kinda feel that way right now? That I feel so down about the Cubs’ chances of doing ANYTHING positive this year that I’d trade away the next four months of baseball for a better 2024+? Am I just overreacting?
  • Heck, even if you were OPTIMISTIC from here about the rest of the Cubs’ 2023 season, would you take that deal? I might. I really want Ohtani … and picking 1.1 in the MLB Draft next year not only gives you the top pick, but also an oversized bonus pool. Hey, you could draft Jac Caglianone out of Florida, and you’d have both Ohtani AND Jactani!
  • Like I said, I think about stupid things. Like, hey, maybe the Cubs get hot from here and make the playoffs – and then sign Ohtani anyway. Shouldn’t I just be rooting for that?
  • Fairly certain Willson got a whole lot of standing ovations over the past seven years, but maybe they don’t qualify for the official “curtain call” statistic:
  • Old friend Alec Mills has a new gig, signing a minor league deal with the Reds. Now 31, Mills hadn’t pitched in a pro game this year (he dealt with back and quad issues last year with the Cubs, so maybe he was still rehabbing). Mills was a solid depth/swing guy for the Cubs for a few years, and we’ll always have the no-hitter.
  • The Cubs are one of the teams that doesn’t currently have a home run celebration – The Athletic catalogued them all here. It’s wild, because the Cubs were kind of one of the forerunners of this trend, and now a bunch of teams have elaborate props for home runs and the Cubs have nothing. I say call up Jonathan Herrera and see if he still has the helmet rub helmet. Loved that thing.
  • MLB had to send a directive to teams that batters can’t pretend to be ready and at attention to the pitcher when they aren’t fully in the batter’s box, in an attempt to screw with the pitcher.

Author: Brett Taylor

Brett Taylor is the Editor and Lead Cubs Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at @BleacherNation and @Brett_A_Taylor.