Cowboys Are Considering "Anybody on Earth" to Be Their Next Kicker — Including Robbie Gould

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Cowboys Are Considering “Anybody on Earth” to Be Their Next Kicker — Including Robbie Gould

Chicago Bears

My football guilty pleasure is watching playoff teams with kicking problems.

Do I see the irony in this? Yes. Do I care? Not at all.

So, yeah, I found a sickening joy in watching Cowboys kicker Brett Maher misfire his way into our memories. Going full Cody Parkey isn’t recommended, but it’s exactly what Maher did during the postseason. As a result of Maher’s struggles, the Dallas Cowboys are looking for a new kicker.

And Special Teams Coach John Fassel is casting a world-wide net in his search:

“We have Tristan on the roster. Anybody else on earth who is not on the team right now, is under consideration,” Fassel said, via the Cowboys’ official site. “That’s everyone really. I think we have a lot of different guys that we’re still looking at – XFL, USFL, veterans on the street, younger guys who still haven’t found their way.

There’s veterans on the street right now – let’s face it, there’s Mason (Crosby), there’s Robbie (Gould), there’s (Ryan) Succup. There’s a lot of guys that have performed in the NFL, and you weigh that against everything else. There’s really no secrets of who’s available.”

You heard it here first, folks! If you’re an able-bodied being on planet earth, then you have a chance to be the Dallas Cowboys’ next kicker.

This sounds like a reality TV show waiting to happen. Someone get NFL Films on this ASAP. Because if anyone is going to outdo the Bears’ kicking carnival of 2019, it would be Jerry Jones’ band of misfits.

If you’re Tristan Vizcaino, then you’re probably reading that quote above and feeling a little less certainty regarding your job security. This is one of those few times when being the only kicker on the roster feels like a dubious distinction. Vizcaino’s job is as safe as the last piece of chocolate cake in my fridge. And it could be old friend Robbie Gould who takes the cake gig.

Gould, 40, is one of the notable free agent kickers Fassel name-checks while discussing Dallas’ kicking conundrum. And with good reason, too. Gould has been successful on 88.1 percent of his kicks since leaving the Bears in 2016. After watching Maher mess himself on PATs, I suppose it is worth pointing out that Gould has been good on 95.3 percent of extra points over the last seven years. Plus, Gould previously made it known that he was open to kicking in a dome or in a warm-weather climate. Sure, Gould has also said he was open to a reunion and prefers to be closer to his home base. But it also makes sense for an older kicker to desire climate control at their next destination. Especially after spending your career kicking in the unforgiving winds of Soldier Field, MetLife Stadium, and Levi’s Stadium.

With that in mind, let’s keep tabs on the Gould situation. It would be easy for the veteran kicker to hang ’em up. What’s left for Robbie to accomplish in the NFL? But it would be even easier for Gould to line up post-playing career opportunities (like he has done with ESPN radio in Chicago) while also keeping options open for a return to kicking. Having Cairo Santos and UDFA rookie Andre Szmyt in camp probably keeps Gould off the Bears’ radar. But that won’t stop us from rooting for an old friend. Although, I’m not sure I can bring myself to root for the Cowboys if that is where he ultimately lands. Then again, at least it would be better than him signing with the Packers. What a nightmare that would be…

Author: Luis Medina

Luis Medina is a Writer at Bleacher Nation, and you can find him on Twitter at@lcm1986.